I can't wait for whatever is next...

I was a part of "Outreach" for the Young Americans. What we would do is go to different at-risk sites and work with kids ages 4-18 teaching them our performing workshop. I got to work with homeless kids who were between the ages 4-14.

Every Wednesday from January-March, we would go to these sites and teach. Then the last Wednesday in March, we performed the workshop they learned for their parents and friends.

My first Wednesday with the kids went by so incredbily fast! There were kids everywhere jumping around, screaming, just so happy that we were there with them. Throughout the month, I got close to one little girl with huge, dark brown eyes and long black hair. She was so shy but she loved to dance and a different side of her would come out when we performed. She also thought she was the boss, she always told me where to sit or drag me around.

Along with making friends with these crazy children, I got to teach them dances as well. For little kids its a little easier because as long as you keep them looking cute, you've done the job. But its hard to keep 40 little girls interested and not have them run everywhere, you can't just teach them a dance you have to tell them a story and give them reasons why they should learn this dance. Because children are smarter than most adults give them credit for. They learn from their parents and they won't do something just because, for most of our generation we have to get something out of it to make it worth the work.

The last Wednesday came, and my little girl was really upset. I asked if her parents were in the audience and she said no. In fact, most of the kids' parents weren't there. And then she pulled me down and said, "Since it's show time, I won't see you ever again, will I?"

And we're supposed to run on stage in 30 seconds. I couldn't lie to her, but I knew if she'd got upset she would refuse to perform. So I told her right now its time to dance and later it will be time to talk.

The show went by and the kids were hectic but they're just babies so it was entertaining while being a disaster. And afterwards it was time for the final good-bye. She just gave me a hug and held onto me for a while. No tears, she just didn't understand why I wouldn't be coming back next week, or why she couldn't get my phone number, or why I'm not allowed to see her again. I think she was mad at me, but there is nothing I can do, so I had to just let her go.

For some reason I thought I would be the teacher in all of this and the kids would be the students. But as the weeks progressed it became increasingly obvious that I was learning so much from this girl. I thought she would need me, but I think I need her more. I need a reminder of all that I have compared to all that she doesn't. I need a reality check to not worry about the petty things that infect my life when she doesn't know where she will be sleeping tonight. I always think of people with these problems to be far away from me so I can't do anything about it. But these people are right here in my town and the reason that they are still struggling is because people like me are not helping. I can't say that I am ignorant to what is happening all around me, my eyes are no longer shut. I've gotten just a small taste of what it feels like to help someone that needs help. Giving the gift of music to a child, teenager, or adult refreshes me as much as it does them. It puts my whole life into perspective to see how music changes people. It is the best therapy I've seen. I feel very thankful and honored to be able to do what I'm doing and I can't wait for whatever is next....

Adam and I should update more often.