You Never Know

I have been wondering about the future. If I had a chance to see it, I'm not sure that I would want to. Things would be easier to understand, maybe what I'm doing right now is really going to pay off later. But what if what I'm doing right now has no value towards me in 10 years? That's what makes me wonder....as does Britney Spears. She also makes me wonder.

The thing that I really don't like to do is waste time. For some reason, I'm alllways short on time, and any second that I have wasted where I could be doing something that I love is crappy. It makes me think, I'm breaking my back working hard at things I despise, and if I know the slight direction I want to go in for my future, should I really stress out about things, or should I just screw it? If I will never need this in my years to come, is it worth doing right now?

College has been on the minds of some people, and I get asked where I want to go. Hell if I know. Why you have to plan your life in black and white at the age of 18 is beyond me. We can't drink yet, we just got the right to vote and smoke, somehow we're supposed to choose the school we want to go to, the classes we want to take, the majors we want to pick out, and maybe even a person we want to be with?

And whyyy are so many people just choosing the 'road' that is simple? College that gives the largest scholarship, place where my parents want me to go, why does it have to be right now? Right out of highschool, we've been locked in chains for the past 18 years by our parents and other authority figures, do you think we want to settle down and concentrate on more school...cuz I don't think I do. Sometimes I think that people in this small town don't set their standards high enough for their potential. I feel like a crazy person for not wanting to go down the right road and for wanting to get out of here and go out there. Where is there? I suppose I'd find it when I get there. Irresponsible, oh yes. Impractical, sounds like it to me. Does it help my future career....does it help my future?

Probably not. But I don't want the activites that I do in highschool stereotype me now, I hope I don't let my paycheck and my job define who I am later. For right now, its not about the future and hoping I'll get through college with honors and job offers, landing a 9-5iver, meeting the 'love' of my life, popping out a few kids, maybe getting divorced because who doesn't these days?...For right now, it should be about living the life I want to, and finding out what I want out of myself. Because, once you grow up...your grown up.

Maybe I'll crash and burn after highschool. Maybe the choice I'm going to make will be the stupidest thing I've ever done. But at least I tried, and I know that at some point in time, I was doing what I wanted to do and not what I should have done. If I do what I should do, I wouldn't be satisfied and I'd be "shoulding' all over myself." (Sex and the City)

Maybe it'll be bleek, maybe I'll be a bum on the streets, or a famous movie star, aspiring author, nutritionist, teacher, prostitute, stay at home mom, yoga instructor, hippie, choreographer, screen writer, manager at Runza. You never know....and thank God for that. Its not like I think I'm going to die tomorrow, I don't see it as living this day like its my last, I see it as living this day because its this day...because its my life.

Morality and how violent video games aren't not that

Let us take another lesson from ol’ Abe Lincoln. Abraham (we’re on a first name basis, you’re not. You can call him Mr. President) was quoted as saying “When I do good I feel good, when I do bad I feel bad, that is my religion,” or something like that. Now this seems to make sense. Someone with a untainted version of what we sometimes call conscience would be able to live by this rule. But who has one of those these days?

Morality instructor Mr. Jim Homan can be quoted as saying “But what if someone feels good doing bad things?”

Which leads me to my next point.

The past couple of weeks have brought with them a large amount of social and educational anxiety. But it’s ok, I mean I’m ok because I’ve found a healthy way to vent.

Shooting games.

That’s right, I’ve found that the best way to blow off steam is to blow off heads*. It really works. Is that wrong? Am I sick? According to honest Abe the answer to both is that I actually couldn’t be more right.

You can expect a Catholic morality teacher to tell you that Abraham’s philosophy is flawed but STFU they don’t call him HONEST Abe for nothing do they, which is why I’m going to violently play violent video games in which I violently destroy digital representations of humans for my own pleasure.

I’m not sick, I’m just Abraham Lincoln.

Adam

*no real heads were blown off in the making of this post. Any and all heads blown were the digital kind and therefore completly acceptable.

It is 3:00 in the morning.

Just an FYI. Since it is so late (for my standards it is reallly late) I really shouldn't be held accountable for the things that I say. I should stop right now but I am not ahaha that wasn't funny why did I type haha I do not know.

Anywho...

I would just like to forewarn all my adoring fans that what I am about to type is real girly. I mean, its probably going to sentimental and poignant. If you find that stuff nauseating stop reading right now. You will not like this post. I mean it, stop. I can get real mushy when I want to. Are you sure you still want to be reading?

It is about boys.

Where do I even begin?

Well, all we girls know that boys our age are well...not exactly at the same level we girls are. They want....oh I'll just say it...they want ass. For the most part. And they get all touchy feely (this really is an emotional not perverted post, I swear). Do you wanna know the WORST place they could touch you? Your heart. (CHEESY) How dare they! Do all these cutesy things like kiss your forehead, nuzzle the nose, even hold your hand. Preposterous. I hate that I love it.

So what is the whole point? Well when a guy is wooing a girl...how can the girl be sure that he really wants to be with her or just wants to get with her? When it comes to a teenage girls heart, should we be the risk-takers because we're young and things shouldn't be so serious, or should we be cautious because if we get burned now, we probably will be scared of falling for someone in the future. The future, when all this isn't just a game.

Stupid boys. Can't live with them, can't live without them.

Post-Valentine’s Day Existentialism

Well, I’m glad that’s over. I really am, I feel ten times better, no lies.

You know if you’ve ever been around history instructor Jacko Ilcisin one of his standard responses to the question “how was your day” is “Just another day in the march to May.”

Doesn’t life sometimes seem like that? Just another day in the march to …when I die. Which could be any day now, in theory. I mean if get swarmed by bees tomorrow and die then I guess that getting up early today for the test review doesn’t really matter does it? So I suppose the only resolve is to just make sure that you milk the happiness out of all the time between now and then.

Now Abe Lincoln was a pretty insightful man. Both he and his wife suffered from depression, he had kids that died, he failed a ton before making it into office and to top it all of the fucking United States decided to fight each other just because he believed in free soil (even if that wasn’t the real reason I’m sure he felt like it was).

The point is that old honest Abe said “People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” And I think that is a good perspective. Of course, Abe was also shot in the back of the head without notice so I hope he was milking the happiness out of his time I guess is the point here, that’s all I wanted to say.

Adam

VD

I really fucking hate Valentine'’s Day. Probably partly because I'm a bitter single guy but mostly because it sucks and it'’s stupid. I've just got two things to say:

1) I think that I would feel better if I just popped all the balloons, any else feel that way. No. Just me? Ok. Fine.

2) Doesn'’t it stand to reason that all of us lonely people should get together if for not love then at least for companionship then maybe we'd all be a little happier.

That'’s all I wanted to say. Don'’t forget to read the more thought out post about VD below.

Adam

Cupid's Arrow

Time flies friends, I mean it. The last time I posted was like almost 2 weeks ago....maybe this means I'm getting a life! (Don't count on it hun). Its already...dare I say it...Valentine's Day.

Ah the consumer holiday that gives flowers shops everywhere higher paychecks. The random holiday that has no religious value. The holiday that puts people into two groups: the singles and the taken.

The singles are bitter and are negative about the holiday that mocks the fact that they don't have a significant other. The taken or chosen ones feel all special that they now have an official reason to show off their significant others.

Then there are other people who are too stoned to care about anything at the moment and don't even know that its Valentine's Day.

Those people are funny. Who needs candy or cards to show love when you have drugs?

Anywho, just wanted to say to all you people, single, taken, or stoned: Happy Valentine's Day. Show some love today.

The worm guy and humanity

Funny story actually, I was at the Omaha home and garden expo and I see this display for the “Magic Worm.” Here is a conversation between me and the guy:

Magic worm guy: “Hey do you want to see the magic worm?”

Me: “Yeah go ahead and try to sell me your crap.”

Worm guy: *Does a bunch of totally awesome tricks with the worm*

Me: Holy crap that’s awesome, how does it work.

Worm guy: *Points at a sign that says “top secret”*

Me: Fine, I accept that, give me six of them(because they were cheaper individually if you bought six then if you just bought one.)

Worm guy: (secretly) Sukka!

Me: O man this is going to be so cool. I can’t wait to get home and play with all six of them.

So yeah, I get home and I open up my six worms.

Let’s take a moment to recognize that I am a person that is progressively losing hope in humanity and desperately looking for magic in this world and I thought these worms really had it. I’ve thought things were magic before but this time I thought I really had it.

Well, it turns out the “magic” worm is on a fucking string. That’s how it works. You tie the string to your belt and you just have to get really good at making people not see the string.

I really thought I had it here. But let it be noted that this is just another punishing hit to my world views. That’s all I’m trying to say. I have less hope in humanity now that I know the secret of the magic worm. That’s all I’m trying to say.

Fair, Balanced, and Second
Adam

A daily problem

I want to talk about a serious problem in my life: peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, more commonly known as the PBandJ.

Don't get me wrong. I'm a huge fan of PBandJs, especially the ones with the strawberry jelly. It'’s just that they are often, well, difficult.

When I first started making PBandJs I only put the peanut butter on one piece of bread. I know, I know, it was a rookie mistake. I soon found that with the peanut butter on only one side of the bread and with the sandwich sitting in my locker all day the jelly would soak through the bread, which is nasty.

So I came to the natural conclusion. I put the peanut butter on both pieces of bread. As you have probably already guessed the oils in the peanut butter covering the bread on both slices prevents the soakage that happens with the peanut butter on only one slice.

But if you think that this is the perfect arrangement but you'’d be wrong.

The peanut butter makes the inside of the sandwich slippery and sometimes if the sandwich is not level, that is parallel to the ground, in the sack then the jelly tends to slip out and get all over the plastic sandwich bag. Then we'’re back to square one with jelly in the bread all over again.
I guess what I really trying to say is that the PBandJ takes a lot of care and thought. It'’s a delicate sandwich.

That'’s all I wanted to say.

Fair, Balanced, and Second
Adam