Concerns From the Heart

On January 1, 1989, a new year began, and a new drama queen was born into the world (like we need another one). Me. At 9:34 a.m. I was unleashed. My family knew I was good looking from the start (sarcasm). An hour later, I was taken away because my heart started beating 100 times faster than a normal newborn heart. I had WPW, a condition where the heart starts beating abnormally fast at random times, because there was an extra passageway. In 8th grade I had surgery to get that removed, and once a year for the next six years I have to wear a heart monitor for one day to monitor my heart and make sure the condition is on the way to healthiness and the pain from the past won't reappear.

Today we had an assembly about suicide. It was depressing...to say the least. It brought back memories from my freshman year about suicide, not necessarily concerning me, but people very close to me. I started remincing about things I blocked out for the past year, and the feeling was overwhelming, it reminded me of my heart. Even though I had surgery and the condition is gone, every once in a while, my heart speeds up like its going to start to beat too fast, but then it stops. Theres no passageway anymore...so why does it start to beat like that? Theres no way the past can repeat itself, so why do we think of it? We need to monitor ourselves, every once in a while, so we can make sure that the past is really behind us, to make sure we're okay.

To think about issues with friends, and dealing with the past, I realized that maybe us people are all stronger than we give ourselves credit for. That we all have to go through things that are hard, but when we see the light, when we are on the 'other side', when we flip the coin and it finally lands on the winning side, where the grass is greener... everything we went through is almost worth it. Because, the sweeter side of life can't be sweet if we don't know what is sour. We can't really appreciate goodness in our life until we've went through the bad.