The holidays are always thought of as a good time, for me anyways. I never really understood why people would get so upset around these times. And the reason for that was because I always had the people I needed around me.

I used to always have those people...or person...around. Now I don't. Ah, zis is why the holidays can be depressing. I never knew.

I have more than anyone should. That I already know. But sometimes, when its the holidays and you have time to think, all that you have can't occupy your mind. Sometimes, most of the time, its the one thing you don't have that fills up your thought process. The one thing. Or, in my case, the one person. Why is it, that a life filled with so much stuff, and so many amazing people, can fall short for a split second because of lacking one person in the past not being in the present?

When we live in a world where you can basically control everything in your life, it is so hard to swallow that some things are really just out of our reach. That there isn't always a solution to the problem. That we can't save someone. That in the end, we may never find out why this person had to die, or this other person had to leave. Sometimes the only thing we know is that we don't know.