This, being the fourth and final Sunday in Advent, beings up a few questions and topics about the upcoming holiday.
1) What’s the deal with all this coal. Santa just has all this extra coal lying around to give to bad kids?
2) Does Santa have coal or is it some how created by magic. Or is the North Pole a huge coal mine (the would explain what they do in the off season). If so, It would make sense to use what is commonly called an elf.
3) Did you really mean elf? Because in science fiction elves are actually taller creatures who are immortal and a decent warriors. The can however be killed in battle. I think what they meant to say was dwarves. This would be consistent with the coal mine theory because dwarves live underground and in mountains, even in mines. Although, Santa would have to be one hell of a bad ass to get dwarves to work for him 24/7 for no pay.
4) This leads us to ask: What do dwarves have to gain by working for Santa? Is it just the fact that they have no where else to go? Man took over middle earth and the high elves left for the undying lands and dwarves were left as exiles as man began to conquer all of earth and Santa took them in exchange for work.
5) But back to the coal: It’s a source of energy. So, perhaps it is just what evil kids want. With a sack of coal you could probably power a small doomsday device. Perhaps if you are really bad you will receive Plutonium. Wouldn’t that be nice? Maybe we could convince Santa to bring us petroleum to power our cars. I don’t’ know why he’s stuck on coal, it may have just been an old world thing that stuck with the story.
It won’t be a merry Christmas until these questions are answered.
Adam
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